Monthly Archives: October 2009

Video Premier!!!

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So, last night was the long awaited premier of the Trick Factory video Off the Couch and the Meta video Turd Merchants of Death at the Fox in Boulder. I’ll let the photos speak for themselves. The one thing I have to say is that it wasn’t until I had a 2 beers today and some greasy food at the Pub (gotta love fried mac and cheese wedges) around 7pm that I felt even slightly normal. Rough day after quite a night.

Josh has staples in his head.

Josh and Jack

Josh

Me and Chip. Starting early. Real mature.

That just about sums it up.

Chip. On the job at the premier.

Reed pointing.

Everyone points at the camera…

…everyone!

Gordan and that guy that never remembers who I am.

Recruiting for a group photo.

Yes. That did happen.

Gordon’s band.

Gordon.

Apparently, Lazer adores the band.

Lots of love among the Trick Factory.

Kiss #2 of the night. So much love…

And that’s all she wrote.

The Need for Closure

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Closure is a funny thing. Most relationships or friendships tend to simply drift apart, while a few actually get a true closure. What does closure do anyways? My brother recently ran into a girl that he been hanging out with and seeing for the majority of the summer, but hadn’t seen in about a month or so. He said that it became a little awkward when she was asking if things were really through between them. Even though so much time had past, she was still seeking that sense of closure. I was once in a relationship back in college and things just simply fazed out. I hadn’t seen or spoken my “boyfriend” in about a month and had no doubt things were over. Even so, he felt the need to call me up, tell me to come out, and then say to me that “I just don’t like you anymore”. Nice. What is with this need for closure anyways? I think its clear to everyone things are over when they’re over.

Despite my rationality for not needing a sense of closure in some situations, everytime I realize that I won’t have a certain student or group of students again, I feel unfulfilled with lack of closure. Teaching high school in Baltimore City was so difficult for this reason. During the year, there were always students that seem to vanish in thin air – they moved, switched schools, got arrested, or just for unknown reasons, stopped coming. It was such a regular phenomenon that I felt like each student never got the necessary attention for their disappearance. There are some school systems were its huge deal if a student misses a week of school and that student and his or her parents are bombarded with questions. In Baltimore, it’s too much the regular. And there are reasons, serious reasons, but it’s just so typical that each of those students does not get the same attention and therefore, sense of belonging.
The other reason I always craved closure was the disappearance of students at the end of the year. It always seemed like all my classes dropped in size in the spring, and I still have no idea where these students went. Then the end of the school year was always such a weird feeling. Between the HSAs and the final week of exams, the far majority of students stopped coming to school. Then they would come just for their exam and that was it. There was always a number of students that I felt close to that wouldn’t be back in our the school the following year. It still bothers me today when I think of all the students I’ve had in the past that I never got to say goodbye to, or let them know that they had a permanent impact on my life.
Today was my last day teaching the 8th graders in Longmont (until the spring). In each 55 minute period, the groups of students had to regather materials, rebuild their water desalination plants, heat them on the hot plates, fill out a cost analysis sheet, hopefully collect some fresh water!, take apart their plant, and discuss some results. It was hectic! The teacher I work with used to teach 3 science classes and a social studies class while the school was trying to hire a new social studies teacher. This week was the first week that she had 4 science classes, so all the students got a little switched around and groups were different, which didn’t help for timing. Even so, all the classes did an amazing job, and almost every single group was able to get anywhere from 1 drop to about 1inch layer of water in their paper cups. But as each class drew to a close and the bell rang, the students poured out of the room and the project was over. It all happened so fast. I’m not always terribly sentimental (that might be a lie) but I was definitely upset there couldn’t be a little more time to come to a sense of closure with the kids. They were an amazing group and I hope to get to work with them again in the spring. It feels so great to come in the school every Thursday and have random kids come up, say hi, and tell me how excited they are that’s its Thursday.
When I compare full teaching to what I’m doing right now, it’s so hard to decide what’s my favorite. I miss teaching my own class with my own students that I actually get to really know so much. On the other hand, right now I come in once a week and the kids are so excited to see me. It’s like a cool aunt and taking the neices and nephews out for a day of fun and then dropping them back off with the parents who deal with all the discipline. It almost feels like cheating. And perhaps just like many relationships, when I come in to work the 7th graders, I’ll still see some 8th graders, say hi, and eventually I’ll just faze out. What’s the need for closure anyways?
Some photos from the 8th grade project:
salt water circuits
another one!
here comes the desalination plants:
the most expensive desalination plant by far!
sonic
class fish

Some lyrics…

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Hooked on a few random songs. Here’s some lyrics just in case anyone cares. Mostly I just want to put them somewhere and can’t think of anywhere else… (youtube links, as well, i mean, why not?)

Lykke Li – Little Bit

Uh ooh ooh uh ooh ooh uh ooh oooh
Uh ooh ooh uh ooh ooh uh ooh oooh
Uh ooh ooh uh ooh ooh uh ooh oooh

Hands down
I’m too proud, for love
But with eyes shut
It’s you I’m thinking of
But how we move from A to B it can’t be up to me
Cause I don’t know
Eye to eye
Thigh to Thigh
I let go

I think I’m a little bit
Little bit

A little bit in love with you
But only if you’re a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me
Oh ah

Uh ooh ooh uh ooh ooh uh ooh oooh
Uh ooh ooh uh ooh ooh uh ooh oooh

And for you I keep my legs apart
And forget about my tainted heart
And I will never ever be the first
To say it’s still a, Game over
Ah ah ahI would do it
Push a button
Pull a trigger
Climb a mountain
Jump off a cliff
Cause you know baby
I love you love you
A little bit

I would do it
You’d say it
You’d mean it
I would let you do it
It was you and I and I only
Ha hm

I think I’m a little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you’re a little bitbit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me

I think I’m a little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you’re a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me
Ah oh

Come here
Stay with me
Stroke me
By the head
Cause I would give anything
Anything
To have you as my man

Come here
Stay with me
Stroke me, by the head
Cause I would give anything
Anything
To have you as my man

Little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you’re a little bit
Little bit
Little bit
In lalalala love with me

I think I’m a little bit
Little bit
A little bit in love with you
But only if you’re a little bit
Little bit
Little bit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upnTg2GPgTM


Band of Horses – No One’s Gonna Love You

It’s looking like a limb torn off
Or altogether just taken apart
We’re reeling through an endless fall
We are the ever-living ghost of what once was

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one’s gonna love you more than I do

And anything to make you smile
It is my better side of you to admire
But they should never take so long
Just to be over then back to another one

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one’s gonna love you more than I do

But someone,
They could have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing’s tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It’s tumbling down
Hard.

Anything to make you smile
You are the ever-living ghost of what once was
I never want to hear you say
That you’d be better off
Or you liked it that way

But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do
No one’s gonna love you more than I do

But someone
They should have warned you
When things start splitting at the seams and now
The whole thing’s tumbling down
Things start splitting at the seams and now
If things start splitting at the seams and now,
It’s tumbling down
Hard

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuZo7pLnL7c

From all the drugs the one I like more is music
From all the junks the one I need more is music
From all the boys the one I take home is music
From all the ladies the one I kiss is music (muah!)

Music is my boyfriend
Music is my girlfriend
Music is my dead end
Music is my imaginary friend
Music is my brother
Music is my great-grand-daughter
Music is my sister
Music is my favorite mistress

From all the shit the one I got to buy is music
From all the jobs the one I choose is music
From all the drinks, I get drunk off music
From all the bitches the one I want to be is music

Music is my beach house
Music is my hometown
Music is my king-size bed
Music’s where I make my friends
Music is my hot hot bath
Music is my hot hot sex
Music is my back rub
My music is where I’d like you to touch

Claro-que-sim
Fui escoteira-mirim
Direto da escola,
n�oN�o ia cheirar cola
Nem basquete, pebolim
O que eu gosto
n�o � de gra�aO que gosto n�o � farsa
Tem guitarra, bateria, computador saindo som
Alguns dizem que mais alto que um furac�o (rh�um)
Perto dele eu podia sentir
Sa�a de seu olho e chegava em mim
Sentada do seu lado
Eu queria encostar
Faria o tigela at� o sol raiar
Debaixo do len�ol
Ele gemia em r� bemol
Fiquei tensa
Mas tava tudo bem
Ele � fod�o,
mas eu sei que eu sou tamb�m

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqEH-jfCCu0

just another tuesday

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Tuesdays are my seminar days for work. We meet every Tuesday at 3:30 and usually have a guest speaker that goes over some type of teaching topic. Some in the past have been on the engineering design loop/process or learning inventories, etc. Today’s topic was “tough love” presented by a women that works at CU, but used to teach math at DSST, a charter high school in Denver, where one of the other fellows teaches. For some particular reason, the theme and the things that were said struck me in such a way that I couldn’t help desperately missing teaching. Teaching for real, having my own classroom and missing my students back in Baltimore. It’s weird, because I don’t normally even have time to miss Baltimore or things that were going on there, but when I do, it’s so intense.

The woman leading the seminar went on and on about tough love and relationships and accountability, etc. etc. It just is so unrealistic when I teach a group of students once a week for 5 weeks. The relationships that I form with these students are superficial at best, and in the time I spend with them, it couldn’t be any much more. I spent more time with my students in Baltimore in one week than I will ever spend with each of these students in Longmont. I know the purpose is to expose them to “real” engineering students (I still have a hard time believing that I’m actually an engineering student now) and that somehow I might inspire a student in a way that didn’t really matter whether I developed a relationship with them or understanding for what they are going through.

Ugh. After another week’s seminar, I headed to the post office to mail out a few surprises, back to campus until 8pm to study some statics, then to illegal petes for a delicious potato green chili bowl with chips and more than enough pabst for meta skate video night. The skate video night crowd has been thinning dramatically as the summer has officially ended, school has started, the cold weather has hit and the days get darker earlier and earlier. But, all that means is that lately I get a seat at the bar and not at a back table and life is still good.

AND… more importantly, less than two weeks before the Meta and Trick Factory double feature video premier on October 26 at the Fox!

A few thoughts…

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I just recently found out that one of my students from two years ago passed away during Physical Training at Fort Jackson last week. I only had him in class for a semester during his senior year. He told me that he didn’t like math and wasn’t psyched to be in the class, but yet he was without a doubt one of the most respectful, motivated students I had. While he wasn’t crazy about math, he did stay at lunch on an occasion to help me with my portfolio for graduate school and told me about his plans for after graduation. I can’t say that I knew him very well, but I still feel shooken up by the news.

I also found out a few weeks ago that my students who was arrested back in January or February is still in jail. Whenever I think about it, I feel so devastated. He was easily my best all-around math student. He was so bright, responsible, driven, etc. I have been meaning to write to him since he’s been arrested; I’ve bought cards and gone through in my head a million times what to write. But I haven’t sent anything. I don’t exactly know why, but besides just being lazy, I’m beginning to question if there’s another subconsience reason. I still have a hard time conceptualizing my student doing the crime he was arrested for, and I’m frustrating by a world that would make such an amazing person resort to something like that. And maybe, at least somewhere deep down, I’m mad at him. I’m so sad that he would put his life and future in jeopardy when he constantly demonstrated how brilliant and compassionate he was. Grrr.

Tonight my SCD (sustainable community development) group, focused on Mabu, a village in Nepal met with our project leader who founded NCDC (an NGO in Nepal) and recently returned from visiting Nepal. From the meeting we gained a lot of information about Mabu, where I am potentially trying to go to this summer for field work. I’ll most likely go in May, during monsoon season. Apparently everything will be more difficult then. It’s about an 8 hour hike into the village from the closest place that can be accessed by driving. There will be leeches and fungus, regardless of how well things are waterproofed. I still can’t imagine turning down such an amazing experience, regardless of how nervous I already am. If I go in May, I’ll probably be there for the entire summer and completely out of any type of safety net. I’m also not sure how prepared I am to see what life is really like for a HUGE percent of the population on our planet. Lack of power, nutrition, medicine and health services, sanitition, adequate drinking water, etc. etc.

I also recently have been sucked into a few intense conversations, forcing me to try to vocalize my thoughts on faith and core life values, which only brings me to understand that I either can’t put in words anything I believe or I maybe have no idea at all. But I can say that I feel lucky every day for what I have and really love what I’m doing right now. The perfect mix of school, work, skating, yoga, and playing with friends. Not too bad.
A few random photos to “sign off” with. All from my cell phone so not the best quality…
I absolutely love teaching once a week. Soon twice a week. I can’t get over how much I miss my students from Baltimore. So my adventures in the classroom in Longmont are much appreciated and especially exciting when this guy’s awake. Class pet: the hedgehog
Fall hits Colorado early. Pre-snow photo from Septmember.


Gabe’s beard. Currently residing in the Trick Factory museum. What a good piece of him to have around!

Apparently Chipotle is really popular here. Line out the door on a Wednesday night.

80′s yoga sculpt = yoga with weights + 80′s step aerobic styles. Ridiculous on many levels from the workout to the music to all the neon and glow bracelets. I had to at least attempt to get a photo of my outfit while wedged between about 50 other people in an insanely crowded dressing/locker room.

my flower painting. I wrote a post a long time ago with some photos of its progress. I have some more inbetween, so if I get them all together I’ll show how it came to be. This is not quite finished… one day before the art show.